CUE THE SUN
“You never had a camera in my head”
It’s been an epoch since my words last reached you. And indeed there are some steadfast souls among you that joined this newsletter back in 2014. I’m forever grateful to you.
I’ll be picking up the pace of correspondence (as in I’ll actually be writing, sending and posting words regularly, ~ once a month). If you do not wish to receive these future emails — and I completely understand if that’s the case, you may unsubscribe below. These posts will also be available on the new blog.
To those of you who wish to remain, please know that I believe your inbox is sacred and will never waste your time.
With that in mind, on to the juicy bits.
In 2021, a number of you asked why I permanently deleted my social media. It's a question I was reticent to answer at the time, but now, with some distance, I feel more comfortable about my decision.
Over the past 4 years or so, I witnessed (and I imagine many of you as well) a number of public personalities perpetuate a kind of codependent conformity with their audience. These spectacles were sad and uncomfortable to watch. Situations like this threaten the quality of work a creator produces. So essentially, my reasons for deleting came down to this: diluting the essence of the music I strive to create and share with you all is not something I can willingly indulge. I couldn’t see a way to remain active on social media and maintain the quality of work I expect of myself. On top of that, outsourcing my time to make Mark Zuckerberg wealthier is not what I had in mind when I began my career as a composer and recording artist. All of this led me to not just log off, but delete everything, all of it, entirely. Kaboom!
That being said, this isn't meant to be a sweeping indictment of those of you that find solace in social media's embrace (a large number of you found me via Instagram). Many people clearly still find great joy and life in it. And I’m certainly not asking anyone to follow in my foolish footsteps.
Anyhow, that’s the long and short of my reasoning about it. I hope you’re not too disappointed.
In more positive news, a lot of new and finished music is in the works, ready for release this year. Some of it, I’m releasing with a record label for the first time, which I’m quite excited about — many of you will likely be familiar with their work as it is fantastic and well-known!
As always, expect releases on Bandcamp first, streaming platforms a few weeks later. Dream Textures is now streaming on all platforms, Mariana is going live this Friday. (And I’m happy to report that it’s currently featured on Spotify’s official Ambient X playlist, alongside one of my favorite ambient artists, Alaskan Tapes.
Also, I’ve been hiding some of my work from you. I’m sorry. Earlier this year, I created a few side project pseudonyms. If you like lofi or ambient sad lofi, you may find something aurally satisfying here. My first pseudonym is called Ambient Astronaut. The second is Aigéin.
Also also, a number of you have asked about books I read and enjoy. I love books so much and am more than happy to share (overshare?). So here’s a teeny sample of what I’ve read lately:
Waking Up — Sam Harris
I’ve been using the Waking Up meditation app since 2020 and I can’t say enough good things about it. It’s made my life profoundly better and it’s probably the only reason I still have a smartphone. The app led me to his book of the same name, which is excellent, and quite a bit more rigorous (lots of neuroscience, at least in the beginning) than I was expecting. I struggle with Harris’s hard determinism sometimes, as I consider myself a compatibilist. But ultimately, if exploring how the mind works is interesting to you, you’ll likely get a great deal out of Harris’s personal experiences and exploration. My favorite quote:
“Your mind is the basis of everything you experience and of every contribution you make to the lives of others. Given this fact, it makes sense to train it.”
Project Hail Mary — Andy Weir
Bought this book on a whim, probably the George R. R. Martin quote on the back caught my attention. I’ve neglected fiction a lot the past few years, this book was my attempt to change that. And boy did it deliver. This is one of the best sci-fi books I’ve ever read. The plot is amazing and filled with fascinating science (and well-researched as far as I can tell) — it has that un-put-down-able quality in fiction that I’ve been missing. I’d share my favorite quote but it’d spoil the book for you. So, here’s my second favorite:
“Now that we have that under control, I can do EVAs in zero g like God intended.”
Seven Ways of Looking At Pointless Suffering — Scott Samuelson
I wish I could go back in time and give this book to my younger self. Back then, a lot of deep questions kept me up at night. Why do we suffer? What is pain for?
This book had many insightful answers. One that stayed with me was Immanuel Kant’s take on morality and suffering in the case of Job: essentially, he argues that if reward constantly follows acts of goodness, then the essence of being 'good' becomes corrupted. Because people would be driven by the prospect of reward, rather than the inherent value of doing good. Thus, according to him, we live in a world of pain and pointless suffering like the kind Job experiences, in order to prevent this performed morality.
Not saying I agree or disagree, but it’s definitely worth thinking about!
Into the Planet —Jill Heinerth (currently reading)
Just started this book a few days ago and find myself thinking about it a lot. Her life is fascinating, a genuine explorer. I’m currently learning to scuba dive and it’s astonishing to read descriptions of her explorations and think through the technical ability and planning required to succeed at what she’s doing, things like diving caves and Icebergs. Will post a great quote from it next month :)
In the meantime, thank you for being here!
